Movie Stars’ Kids Are Suffering

by Janai Lowenstein, M.S.
(c) 2007

Lots of hubba-bubba about the new babies in Hollywood have minds reeling and judgments spinning out of control. Fame and wealth draw attention, it is true. But they do not give the stamp of guaranteed intrinsic happiness to the children of movie stars, regardless of how many toys, fancy clothes, and nannies many of them have. Unnecessary lifetime suffering can result from material wealth minus parental love.

Let’s set aside the fact that we’re all human and have our individual life lessons to process and attain. Set aside fame and wealth. Look at the fact that couples like Jolie/Pitt and Cruise/Holmes WANT their children. That is the first key to a healthy family life, regardless of house size, location and décor budget. Then consider that both of these families are protective of their children and WANT to spend time with them. Just see it for what it is. And if you understand the importance of the institution of the family being successful and serving as a nurturing force on our wonderful but needy planet, be glad these couples are giving a positive boost to good care and loving attention for their children.

Thanks, Angelina and Brad, Tom and Katie, Reese Witherspoon, Will Smith, Meryl Streep, and a host of others. You are helping the planet, the institution of the family, the future of your children and many others! Your positive influence on quality time with your children is creating a new bright wave.

Medicine Unclogs Dad’s Constipation with Kids

By Janai Lowenstein, M.S.
(c) 2007

Some troubled child clients had great difficulty communicating with their dad. Of course, each of their troubles stemmed primarily from the struggle in the paternal relationship. Dad hadn’t solved his own ill issues and passed them onto the kids. A blinding concrete wall stood between parent and children. He wanted me to “fix” them.

Total resolve of the children’s issues was impossible without healing changes in the family system. That meant the father figure was in for some group session work with the children. Opposed but present, it appeared to be a formidable task to open lines of communication.

I knew exactly what medicine this dad and his kids needed. Balloons. I designed some games for them to play together in my living room session. Soon they were laughing and playing together. Hearts, minds and a door opened and we pursued a path with skill building based on fun times together. Success. Fun medicine unclogged their constipation, gave them common ground and good feelings together to BUILD a new relationship.

Mother Screams like Wild Banshee in Grocery Store

by Janai Lowenstein, M.S.
(c) 2007

Two ends of the parental spectrum blared out at the grocery store. A frustrated mom yanked her preschooler, screaming at him to leave things on the shelf, slapping his bottom and dragging him as he wailed to the cashier stand. Two minutes later a different mom in a different aisle stooped down, speaking to her precocious preschooler at eye level, explaining why it was not acceptable to run in the store, then asking if the child understood. Seeing an answering nod, she held the child’s hand and guided her calmly with a firm sense of direction through the store.

A menagerie of images flooded my mind, fast-forwarding into each child’s future. The first child’s coming years were entangled and muddy. The second child’s future had a sheen and clarity, giving it the brightness of hope, understanding, connectedness and success. Both moms and their children appeared to be from the lower economic spectrum. Both children will have very different lives, their futures not dependent on a wealthy financial background but rather on intrinsic value or lack thereof. One child’s mind will be expanded from the store experience and the other will be twisted in degradation, anger, humiliation and lack of self-control. One child will know the experience of being respected and how to respect. She is building a conscience while feeling connected to her parent. The humiliated child does not know forgiveness, and has mixed messages about being loved.